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(I will be taking a rest from blogging until next week. I want to be fully present while the kids are home for the holidays. I will be praying for you, the Serving Strong reader, all week too. Please drop me a line or share a comment to let me know how you’re doing during the holiday season. May God richly bless you with His presence.)

It has been taught for years that everything rises and falls based on leadership. Such is true for establishing strong church ministries as well as for building a strong family.

So where does marriage fit into this fact?

Marriage remains under attack and if, indeed, the responsibility of leadership is so important to the issue, then the pastor or ministry leader has a huge task in front of him or her. As daunting as it may seem, what if I told you that there is a great blessing within the task itself?

Ministry leaders who are cognizant of the importance of strong marriages would do well to facilitate such within their fields of influence. Healthy marriages give way towards healthy families and, subsequently, healthy churches and ministries.

“Leading the way can pay huge dividends.”

But, what often is missed is the fact that the accountability that is generated by leading the way towards marital health can pay huge dividends in the leader’s marriage. Good leaders do not expect someone following them to do something that they, themselves, are not doing. As a leader models what it looks like to be a good husband or a good wife, their own marriage is being strengthened while other couples observe and imitate.

Speaking the Word and encouraging the believers is important, but leaders must also model the practical aspects of God’s Word for others to see and imitate.

“Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.”  Hebrews 13:7 NIV

Closer To Home

Are you tired, struggling and feeling like you are burning out even though you are doing what you are called to do and, legitimately, love to do? Perhaps the source of your feelings is not coming from your place of ministry, but from somewhere much closer to home.

Determine to model marriage as God intended it to be and watch the amazing effects on your own marriage and your ministry.

This is a guest post by a good friend of mine, Dave Kidd. Dave is President of Binding Hearts Marriage and Family Ministries, Director of Network Marriage Initiative. You can contact him by email: 4marriages@gmail.com. Visit his website: www.bindinghearts.net.

This post is for the ministry leader who is married and has small children (although the 4 squeezes could probably be applied to most situations). When your marriage and family is pleasing to God, you are effective for God. Your family life is a collection of interactions, moments if you will. Each moment offers you a golden opportunity to deepen the ties with each person. But they are fleeting. They are gone while you blink your eyes. So it’s up to you to milk these moments.

Here, then, are 4 easy squeezes to milk the most out of the moments with those loved one who interact with you at home:

FIRST, SQUEEZE out the past. Preoccupation with past hurts, past church attendance reports, or whatever you are struggling with (or celebrating) will get in the way of your moments. Squeeze it out. If the particular issue is important it will be there when you return to it.

SECOND, SQUEEZE out the future. Preoccupation with future worries, or that big Sunday coming up, or whatever you are looking forward to (or dreading) will get in the way of your moments as well. Squeeze it out. You’ll be addressing your future soon enough.

THIRD, SQUEEZE out the activity. Get the most from what you are doing at the moment with your loved one. For example, if you’re on the living room floor with your 5 year old playing with legos, don’t just build a house. Build a castle that keeps out the evil ogres that are about to attack with a fury from the kitchen!! AHHHH!!! (get the idea?)

FOURTH, SQUEEZE out the person. Look into your spouse’s eyes. Look deep. What do you see? A soul. A soul mate. Run your fingers slowly through your child’s hair. What does it feel like between your fingers? Give all your attention to them. See the world through their eyes, without any of your own prejudice or preconceived notions.

You. 100% present, milking the moment. It’s what your family wants from you. Needs from you. Try it the next time you walk through the door… (let me know how it goes)

How do you milk the moments at home?

It’s that time of year again. Time when I step away from blogging and intentional social media to make the most of the time when family is together. My prayer for you in ministry leadership is that God would become Emmanuel to your soul in a new and deeper way.

Feel free to browse the blog post archives and I look forward to continuing the conversation with you in 2011!

“..Pastors can be extremely busy trying to keep up with their Christmas calendars at church, while also dealing with all of the other usual demands of the holidays, from stringing lights to fighting the shopping crowds and traffic.  Pastors who are not careful run the risk of neglecting their our own families at Christmas time…”

This is a quote from Jim Fuller, Executive Director of Pastoral Care, Inc. <Read the whole article>

So how can this year’s holiday season be the best it can be? Here are 3 suggestions:

1.  Step Away From The Buffet

It seems food comes out of the woodwork during the holidays. There are trays of cookies and sweet concoctions we didn’t know existed until December. There are Christmas parties with yams and hams. There are gifts in the mail with chocolate and caramel. Over indulgence can lead to feeling poorly about ourselves. This low self-esteem radiates onto others around us. They pick up our “down” vibe, making the holidays more stressful than it needs to be. The key is moderation.

2. Get Down On The Floor

Your kids are watching how you handle the holidays. If they are young, get down on the floor at their level and spend some quality time with them. Play on their terms. Some of the greatest moments of my life have been in the imaginary worlds of spaceship legos and dainty tea-parties. If your kids are getting older, determine what their “floor” is and spend quality time on their terms. If you have no kids, those closest to you have a “floor” as well. The key is to make quality time with family intentional.

3. Go Into The Closet

Prayer is vital to a meaningful holiday experience. Just imagine, it will be the middle of January before you know it. Do you want to look back and say, “My, how I let the precious moments slip through my fingers like sand” or do you want to look back and say, “My, how the precious moments magnified in the presence of the Holy One.”  Prayer will help prepare you to see the precious moments when they are happening. It will still your heart to see what’s really going on as it happens. You will be tuned into divine family moments and it will enrich your holiday experience.

What other ways are you planning to survive the holidays this year?

Ministry. It’s captivating, isn’t it? To be involved in what God is doing for eternity is one of most rewarding activities. God is moving and shaking things up. You’re in the middle of it all.

Caution: Are those closest to you getting your left overs? Are you so engrossed in what you’re doing in your ministry vocation that your family and friends are feeling left out?

Don’t be like Stanley…

Check out this related post: Landmark Transition