I remember it well. I was serving as a full-time youth and music minister back in the 1980′s (yes, I started when I was 5!) – the era when choruses were making their debut in a lot of churches. We started adding choruses to our Sunday worship sets which meant less hymn singing. Not only that, we started using an overhead machine that projected the lyrics up on the wall on a screen that covered the cross on the wall behind the platform.
2005 March - James Portrait
You can imagine the outcry.
“Where are the hymnals?!” “Why are we singing these shallow songs?!” “WHERE’S THE CROSS?!?”
All that was manageable because the lead pastor and I had a vision and felt it was the right direction to take the congregation (which ultimately turned out to be the case). What took more time to learn to manage was one person in particular (we have reconciled through the passing of time and the grace of God, so this post is more about lifting up God than bashing this person). I’ll call him Frank. That’s not his/her name. I just want to respect him/her.
Frank had perfect timing. Usually just before the worship time would start, there he’d be – in my face. He didn’t wait to schedule a conference for a Tuesday afternoon. No, Frank was up in my grill as I was walking up the aisle to the platform to start leading worship to an Almighty God.
Frank had just the right words. He said things like, “I don’t like you.” “We are going in the wrong direction.” “Why are you doing this to us?” “I can’t worship as long as you’re on the platform.” “I’m going to talk to the board about you.”
Although this went on for a few years, Frank always had little impact on the influencers of the church. His complains were largely tolerated but made little difference to where the church was going. Nevertheless, I was being slayed personally Sunday after Sunday. I tried to consider the source. But the insults still cut deep.
Looking back, I learned a couple things. Perhaps as you read them, they will give you hope as you serve God in your calling:
1) Vision is powerful. If you are doing what God wants you to do, there will be beautiful confirmation and there will be tremendous resistance. Invite God into both. Cherish the confirmations. Surrender the resistance.
2) Pain is still pain. It doesn’t matter if you are serving in a full time ministry capacity or making widgets on an assembly line. We are human. We feel pain. Never deny it. ”Pain + Resistance = Suffering”. There is nothing right or wrong about feelings. When we get hurt, we hurt. Acknowledge the pain and move through it under the direction and strengthening of God – and process it with your accountability network (you DO have an accountability network, don’t you?).
3) Battles are for choosing. Not everything is worth dying for. Sure, some resistance may be a hint you are going off the deep end (but that’s what your accountability network is for – you DO have an accountability network, don’t you?). So choose your battles. Fight for what you know is right. Let petty complains melt into the grace waters that flow under the bridge.
Frank turned out to be one of the best things to happen to me in ministry leadership. I didn’t sense it then (good grief, I wanted to eliminate him at the time). But looking back, I learned a lot from Frank. I learned to avoid burnout by leaning heavy on the God who kept telling me to go back to church and lead worship, regardless.
Do you have a “Frank” in your ministry? How do you deal with him/her?
The Bogeyman. “…an amorphous imaginary…monster [which] has no specific appearance, and conceptions about it can vary drastically from household to household within the same community; in many cases, he has no set appearance in the mind of a child, but is simply a non-specific embodiment of terror.” (source)
