The Leader’s Marital Health

It has been taught for years that everything rises and falls based on leadership. Such is true for establishing strong church ministries as well as for building a strong family.

So where does marriage fit into this fact?

Marriage remains under attack and if, indeed, the responsibility of leadership is so important to the issue, then the pastor or ministry leader has a huge task in front of him or her. As daunting as it may seem, what if I told you that there is a great blessing within the task itself?

Follow the LeaderMinistry leaders who are cognizant of the importance of strong marriages would do well to facilitate such within their fields of influence. Healthy marriages give way towards healthy families and, subsequently, healthy churches and ministries.

“Leading the way can pay huge dividends.”

But, what often is missed is the fact that the accountability that is generated by leading the way towards marital health can pay huge dividends in the leader’s marriage. Good leaders do not expect someone following them to do something that they, themselves, are not doing. As a leader models what it looks like to be a good husband or a good wife, their own marriage is being strengthened while other couples observe and imitate.

Speaking the Word and encouraging the believers is important, but leaders must also model the practical aspects of God’s Word for others to see and imitate.

“Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.”  Hebrews 13:7 NIV

Closer To Home

Are you tired, struggling and feeling like you are burning out even though you are doing what you are called to do and, legitimately, love to do? Perhaps the source of your feelings is not coming from your place of ministry, but from somewhere much closer to home.

Determine to model marriage as God intended it to be and watch the amazing effects on your own marriage and your ministry.

This is a guest post by a good friend of mine, Dave Kidd. Dave is President of Binding Hearts Marriage and Family Ministries, Director of Network Marriage Initiative. You can contact him by email: 4marriages@gmail.com. Visit his website: www.bindinghearts.net.

Leadershaping Poll

In a recent article for the Outcomes magazine (a product of Christian Leadership Alliance), Cris Doornbos (President and CEO of David C. Cook) shared the ABC’s of Leadershaping. Check out this excerpt:

“Taking the time to connect for meaningful relationships is one of the cornerstones to leadership. Without healthy family relationships, other relationships will be limited… be mentored and be a mentor.”

If we are not shaping ourselves and those we serve, we are headed for burnout. Which of the ABC’s Cris shared in the article do you think is MOST important?

 

 

2 Resources On Biblical Leadership (from @ChristopherLS)

Maundy Thursday foot washingA Twitter friend of mine, Christopher Scott, offered these 2 great resources on a Biblical perspective of leadership. Feel free to pull down and use in your own ministry leadership context. Stay strong!

A Pastoral Leader is a Servant

and

Philemon

If you want to read more of his writing, visit his blog, Learning Leadership.

If you want to connect with Christopher on Twitter, he’s @ChristopherLS

Christopher has also written a book called “A Day Of Hope”. Get your copy today.

 

 

ʎlʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp sƃuıɥʇ ǝǝs sɹǝpɐǝl ʇɐǝɹƃ

In order to get the benefit from this post, start from the bottom right and work your way up.

Carl Johnson

MiiiSH

¿ɹǝpɐǝl ʇɐǝɹƃ ɐ noʎ ǝɹɐ ɹo

¿ɹǝpɐǝl ʎuɐ noʎ ǝɹɐ

˙ʎlıɯɐɟ oʇ ǝɯoɥ oƃ puɐ uǝɥʍ ʎɐs oʇ uǝɥʍ ʍouʞ sɹǝpɐǝl ʇɐǝɹƃ ˙ǝɔıɟɟo ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ǝɯıʇ ǝɹoɯ puǝds uɐɔ ɹǝpɐǝl ʎuɐ

˙lnos ɟo ɥʇdǝp ʇǝınb ɐ ɯoɹɟ pɐǝl sɹǝpɐǝl ʇɐǝɹƃ ˙ǝʇsɐɥ ɟo ʇno ʇɔɐ uɐɔ ɹǝpɐǝl ʎuɐ

˙ʇsǝɹ ɹıǝɥʇ uı ʇsǝʌuı sɹǝpɐǝl ʇɐǝɹƃ ˙ʇnouɹnq ʎǝɥʇ lıʇun ǝʌɹǝs uɐɔ ɹǝpɐǝl ʎuɐ

˙ǝldoǝd ɟo ʇno ssǝuʇɐǝɹƃ llnd sɹǝpɐǝl ʇɐǝɹƃ ˙ǝldoǝd ɹǝʌo ʞuɐɹ llnd uɐɔ ɹǝpɐǝl ʎuɐ

˙ǝɹıdsuı sɹǝpɐǝl ʇɐǝɹƃ ˙ʇsıɟ ʎʇɥƃıɯ ɐ ɥʇıʍ pɐǝl uɐɔ ɹǝpɐǝl ʎuɐ

Believe In Your People

In this rare clip from 1972, legendary psychiatrist and Holocaust-survivor Viktor Frankl delivers a powerful message about the human search for meaning — and the most important gift we can give others. As you watch this 4-minute video, think of the people you lead/serve in your current assignment. Then answer the questions below.

What keeps you from believing in someone’s capability?

What are ways we can give the greatest gift (as Frankl says) to others?

Blog Tour: Prayer Power by Peter Lundell

Publisher: Revell (1/1/09)  

Language:English  

ISBN-10: 0800732634

ISBN-13: 978-0800732639

240 pages

Retail: $12.99

 

 9 Ways to Improve Your Prayer Life

1. Establish a designated place to pray.

2. Set a designated time of day to pray.

3. Use written prayers or music to help get started.

4. Repent of the things that hinder your prayer.

5. Pray out loud–this clarifies thoughts.

6. Personalize Bible verses when you pray.

7. Let yourself get in a situation where you have to trust God.

8. Seek the Holy Spirit's leading–and listen.

9. Be bold and persistent.

For Immediate Release

Kathy Carlton Willis Communications

WillisWay@aol.com or kcwcomm@rgv.rr.com

Powerful Prayer Principles

A blog tour to help strengthen your prayer-life

 

About the Book:

In the crazy world around us, our prayers may too often seem ineffective. Do you want to connect with God when you pray and receive more direct answers? PRAYER POWER is the tool you need to build a more powerful and dynamic life of prayer.

Intensely practical and straightforward, PRAYER POWER helps you improve on thirty essential facets of prayer such as passion, routine, fasting, praying with others, listening to God, handling distractions, and spiritual warfare. In each brief chapter you'll be inspired by stories of people whose lives of prayer give us powerful examples.

PRAYER POWER can be used as a month-long devotional, a prayer guide, or a reference for help in specific areas. Whether you're a new believer or think you've heard it all, this book's refreshing and honest insight will guide you to a deeper connection with God.

About the Author:

Peter Lundell, a former missionary to Japan, is a pastor at Walnut Blessing Church in Walnut, California. He has an MDiv and DMiss from Fuller Theological Seminary and is the founder of the Walnut Valley Pastors' Prayer Network. Lundell is the author of two books, and his articles have appeared in magazines such as Guideposts and Pray!

Interview Questions

1. Many Christians don't talk about hardships with prayer. Why do you open up about the struggles you have had drawing close to God in prayer? 

My first draft of the book read like an instruction manual of all the things you ought to do to be spiritual like me. I realized that the more spiritual I tried to sound, the less honest I was being. I was hiding behind my words. No reader should have to put up with all that. And besides, it was boring.

So I determined to be totally honest. I rewrote the book and openly shared my doubts, struggles, and failures, because everybody goes through the same things. And if I’m not honest with readers, how can I expect readers to be honest with others or even themselves?

I take sort of an “I mess up and you mess up, but God loves us anyway, so let’s connect with him” approach. Readers often tell me how much they identify with that. And when they read about how God still worked amazing things in my life and in others’, it gives them hope.

   

I’ve discovered two things: First, honesty is liberating, and I don’t want to live any other way. Second, when we stick with prayer and don’t give up, answers and victories rise from our struggles. Answers and victory never rise from pretending.

   

I hope to connect with readers so that they’ll in turn connect with me and the victories I’ve experienced—so that they will experience their own victories.

2. What are some of the things God has taught you about prayer over the years – especially from the perspective of your leadership roles? 

   

It’s good to listen before I talk. If I always dive into prayer and never spend time listening, I only dump my own “give-me list” on God. But his word says in 1 John 5:14–15 that when I seek and pray according to his will, my prayer will be answered. So the key is to first get in sync with God.

   

We’ve got to have a hunger, or thirst, for God. Without hunger, no program or technique or anything we learn will go anywhere. But with hunger for God, we could know almost nothing and still have a great prayer life. Hunger is singularly important—which is why it’s the first chapter.

   

When I pray with faith and don’t get what I ask for, God will soon show me why. There is always something to learn in unanswered prayer.

3. What do you mean by "praying boldly" and how can Christians learn to do that?

   

Praying boldly is the opposite of excessively polite prayer and of—I’ll just say it—wimpy prayer. Praying boldly is praying without intimidation, not caring what other people think, expressing ourselves to God without concern for being appropriate or religiously correct but rather with a passion from our guts that pours out, unashamedly. Bold prayer is not arrogant. It’s humble and faithful, because of its self-abandoned focus on God and expectation of what God will do.

   

People often assume they must be polite or solemn before God. Nowhere does the Bible teach this. Two thirds of the Psalms are complaints, and they are not polite. Most prayers in both Old and New Testaments are bold, expectant, and to the point. When Jesus teaches on prayer in Luke 11:5–10, he talks about an obnoxious guy who bangs on his friend’s door at midnight. Then he says we should bug him the same way by continually asking, seeking, and knocking. I often wonder if God gets tired of diplomatic prayers. Why else would he actually tell us to be bold and persistent—and use examples that, if we were on the receiving end, most of us would say are obnoxious.

   

There’s no real method to doing this. It’s a mindset that chooses to free itself from previous assumptions and uses the Bible as a model of how to pray.

4. How can we practice the presence of God and include him in everyday tasks? 

   

Practicing the presence of God primarily has to do with developing an attitude, a continual awareness that God is always with us, and that in turn, we always incline our attention toward him.

   

The first thing most of us need to do is to slow down or cut unnecessary activities from our calendar. Busyness is an enemy to practicing the presence of God. Jesus repeatedly blew off other people’s agendas for him and continually focused on his purpose for being here. Pastors who do the same are always happier, closer to God, and more effective. And when we practice the presence of God, we increase our ability to be intimate with him when times do get busy.

   

Here are some practices that may help develop that attitude: My last thought before I sleep and my first thought when I wake up is centered on God. When I get mad or stressed, I try to see things from God’s perspective. When I am waiting for someone, I use that time to pray. I do menial tasks with an awareness and love of God. I often have a praise song on my mind as I go through the day.

5. You're a proponent for creating a place of prayer and establishing a time of prayer. Why are these important elements for prayer?

These two disciplines are the most important external helps for maintaining a strong prayer life. Without them, our good intentions eventually drown under the assaults of busyness and distractions.

   

A place of prayer helps us concentrate in the face of distractions. That place could be the church sanctuary, an empty room in the house, a spot in the back yard, or even a rug laid out on the floor, on which the only thing we do is pray. The physical surroundings of a location devoted to prayer tell our brains, “Focus on God.” And if we ever feel bored or in a rut of over-familiarity with a place, a change of location can be stimulating.

   

Establishing a set prayer time engrains a habit of prayer into our minds, such that if we miss it, we feel anxious because something is missing or wrong—and it is! A set prayer time is not to force ourselves to pray as much as to create a boundary of protection from busyness. That boundary of time is like a protective fence around a garden, where we give ourselves freedom from intrusions to spend unhindered time with God. Preferably we’ll do this as early as possible in the morning, so we can lay the whole day before the Lord. And unlike a prayer place, I have never found benefit in changing my prayer time, so I highly recommend keeping it sacred, especially if we’re travelling or really busy. Whether short or long, this protective fence of a set time must be intentional, because no one else can do it for us.

6. What advice would you give to people who struggle with God when they pray?

   

True men and women of prayer will sometimes struggle in prayer, as did many figures in the Bible, like Jacob’s symbolic wrestling with the angel and Jesus’ wrestling over his fate in Gethsemane.

Like anyone else, I struggle with unanswered prayer or major decisions to do something by faith, when tragedy strikes, problems of injustice, and healings that take a lot longer than I’d like. The key is to keep struggling—don’t give up and too quickly assume something is God’s will before you know for sure. The angel commended Jacob for not giving up until he got a blessing. God the Father actually sent an angel to help Jesus wrestle in Gethsemane. Sometimes wrestling in prayer is God’s will for us.

   

Wrestling in prayer is actually a good thing. It draws us closer to God. And it changes us in the process. And that’s what most of us hope for!

Author Peter Lundell

Bonus Material 

Top Ten Reasons Prayer Doesn't Get Answered

Lack of faith   –A much-abused idea, but essentially still true.

Effects of sin separating us from God   –The Bible says that God sometimes won't listen when we wallow in sin.

Unforgiveness / Emotional wounds /  Self-pity  –A weird dynamic, but scary in how powerful these emotions are.

Unhealthy lifestyle in disagreement with prayer   –Don't pray to lose weight, then eat donuts.

Demonic affliction   –Satan and his demons are deceptive and merciless.

Strongholds in the mind   –People allow attitudes and beliefs to block out the truth.

God's working behind the scenes   –Sometimes God is in a process of answering before we can see it.

God's chastisement   –Sometimes people bring punishment upon themselves, and it's for their ultimate good.

God's classroom of testing and faith building   –The way God answers prayer may test you and build your faith.

Old age or time to die   –Sometimes it's our time to go!

GRAND PRIZE BUNDLE INCLUDES:

(leave a comment for an opportunity to win this great package)

Prayer Power by Peter Lundell 

When God Turned off the Lights by Cecil Murphey (Cec is one of Peter's mentors)

Committed but Flawed by Cecil Murphey

Also includes: Prayer Journal, Pen, and Candle

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