There will be more room in the nest after this weekend. We move our first and only daughter into her apartment as she begins her life after college graduation. What’s left are the haunting memories of a little stringy-haired, brown-eyed girl playing with her toys and dolls and books. I have come to have a love/hate relationship with memories. They are a great way to relive precious moments. But they will never replace the real thing. What I DO have is the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit. I’m reminded of the lyrics to part of the song Angel by Sarah McLachlan:

“…you are pulled from the wreckage  Of your silent reverie  You’re in the arms of the angel  May you find some comfort there…”

I’m a melancholy. In moments of lowness, I listen to songs like the theme to On Golden Pond or “For Cova” on the album Streams or “O Magnum Mysterium” by the Chamber Choir of Europe. So when I face a life season like the emptying nest, I run to these songs. They become the door that opens between my need and God’s tremendous wealth of comfort and presence. That’s how I journey.

So next week we move on. A bit more room in the square footage we’ve come to call home. A piece of our hearts now resides a couple hours away. Letting go is an art form and we’ve just begun to really do some painting. But that’s okay. We’ll visit her soon.

What season of life are you in?

How is it impacting your walk with God?

A ministry leader who has kids cannot neglect the role of parent. I’ve seen too many cases where the ministry leader’s kids get their parents’ leftovers. That’s NOT serving strong. For some screwy reason, some ministry leaders think their ministry to others is more important than their ministry to their kids.

photo: Ha-Wee

The best way to engage in your kids’ lives is to start in prayer. Here is a sample prayer you can adapt to your current parenting situation. It has its origin in the Willow Creek resource from years ago called Becoming A Contagious Christian.

FOR THEM    Draw them toward you.  Open their eyes to the emptiness of life w/o you.  Help them see their need for forgiveness.  Remove any confusion they have about you and the life you offer.  Help them grasp the meaning and importance of your cross & resurrection.  Open their hearts to your love and truth.  Bind the enemy from attacking them in their minds and spirits.  Continually renew them through a brokenness of heart.

FOR ME    Help me live a consistent and attractive Christian life.  Help me create & maintain a lifestyle that allows for sufficient mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual space for time with them.  Make me authentically and honestly deal with life’s ups and downs.  Give me wisdom in knowing how to approach the relationship.  Expand my knowledge so I will be ready to define and defend the Gospel.  Grant me appropriate boldness and courage.  Use me to help lead them into a deep & vibrant relationship with you.

FOR US    Cause depth and trust to grow in our relationship.  Open doors for spiritual conversations.  Guide those conversations in pace, frequency, and content.  Give me wisdom and insight to perceive what they are really saying when we interact.  Give me courage and boldness to respond proactively for their ultimate spiritual good.

OTHERS    Cause the interactions with friends, adults, teachers, upperclassmen, younger kids, coaches, teammates, and family to continually point them to You.  Protect them from anyone who will come in contact with them and intentionally or unintentionally hurt them or mislead them in any way.  If necessary, use the difficult times to teach them to put their hope & trust in you.

I PRAY THAT THEY (Col 1:9-14) …

…Know Your Will;  Live a worthy, pleasing life;  Bear fruit;  Grow in You;  Live in Your strength;  Have endurance & patience;  Live in joyful gratitude;  Claim their secure inheritance;  and Embrace freedom.

They are your kids, Father.  Guide me as their steward.

How else do you connect with your kids?

“..Pastors can be extremely busy trying to keep up with their Christmas calendars at church, while also dealing with all of the other usual demands of the holidays, from stringing lights to fighting the shopping crowds and traffic.  Pastors who are not careful run the risk of neglecting their our own families at Christmas time…”

This is a quote from Jim Fuller, Executive Director of Pastoral Care, Inc. <Read the whole article>

So how can this year’s holiday season be the best it can be? Here are 3 suggestions:

1.  Step Away From The Buffet

It seems food comes out of the woodwork during the holidays. There are trays of cookies and sweet concoctions we didn’t know existed until December. There are Christmas parties with yams and hams. There are gifts in the mail with chocolate and caramel. Over indulgence can lead to feeling poorly about ourselves. This low self-esteem radiates onto others around us. They pick up our “down” vibe, making the holidays more stressful than it needs to be. The key is moderation.

2. Get Down On The Floor

Your kids are watching how you handle the holidays. If they are young, get down on the floor at their level and spend some quality time with them. Play on their terms. Some of the greatest moments of my life have been in the imaginary worlds of spaceship legos and dainty tea-parties. If your kids are getting older, determine what their “floor” is and spend quality time on their terms. If you have no kids, those closest to you have a “floor” as well. The key is to make quality time with family intentional.

3. Go Into The Closet

Prayer is vital to a meaningful holiday experience. Just imagine, it will be the middle of January before you know it. Do you want to look back and say, “My, how I let the precious moments slip through my fingers like sand” or do you want to look back and say, “My, how the precious moments magnified in the presence of the Holy One.”  Prayer will help prepare you to see the precious moments when they are happening. It will still your heart to see what’s really going on as it happens. You will be tuned into divine family moments and it will enrich your holiday experience.

What other ways are you planning to survive the holidays this year?

Ministry. It’s captivating, isn’t it? To be involved in what God is doing for eternity is one of most rewarding activities. God is moving and shaking things up. You’re in the middle of it all.

Caution: Are those closest to you getting your left overs? Are you so engrossed in what you’re doing in your ministry vocation that your family and friends are feeling left out?

Don’t be like Stanley…

Check out this related post: Landmark Transition

On the wall of my office I have a poster hanging that looks a lot like the pic in this post. The first time I saw it I thought of YOU, the People-Helper. Everyone sees the visible. But the People-Helper is so much more than what they do for others. They have a background, an upbringing, fears, joys, things that excite them, things that depress them. They wear spouse hats, parent hats, sibling hats. They have a spiritual dimension, a physical dimension, a financial dimension, an emotional dimension. All of this is what lies beneath the surface.

The Serving Strong Blog posts are grouped into several categories to address some of these areas that lie beneath the surface. Below is a roundup of the latest blog posts by category. As you read through them, I challenge you to grow and develop your life in a holistic way:

Your Life Balance

Your Reading

Your Vocation(doing ministry well)

Your Parenting

Your Conflict Management

Your Self Care

Your Spiritual Life

Your Marriage

Your Finances

General Topics

You are more than what you do. May God bless you as you continue to Serve Strong!

photo credit

On the wall of my office I have a poster hanging that looks a lot like the pic in this post. The first time I saw it I thought of YOU, the People-Helper. Everyone sees the visible. But the People-Helper is so much more than what they do for others. They have a background, an upbringing, fears, joys, things that excite them, things that depress them. They wear spouse hats, parent hats, sibling hats. They have a spiritual dimension, a physical dimension, a financial dimension, an emotional dimension. All of this is what lies beneath the surface.

The Serving Strong Blog posts are grouped into several categories to address some of these areas that lie beneath the surface. Below is a roundup of the latest blog posts by category. As you read through them, I challenge you to grow and develop your life in a holistic way:

Your Life Balance

Your Reading

Your Vocation(doing ministry well)

Your Parenting

Your Conflict Management

Your Self Care

Your Spiritual Life

Your Marriage

Your Finances

General Topics

You are more than what you do. May God bless you as you continue to Serve Strong!

photo credit