How To Tell If You’re Burning Out

“How do I know if I’m in burnout?”

I get that question from time to time. It doesn’t happen in a sudden instant. It’s more like falling in love (not that burnout is like love). But think about it for a moment. How do you know when you’re in love? Let me pull back the curtain and let you hear what was going on in my mind after I got to know this great girl with brown eyes and a southern accent (who later became my wife):

“I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“I want to be with her.”

“She’s all I want to please.”

“I wonder what she thinks of me.”

There are similarities to this kind of inner self-talk when you are falling into burnout.

“I can’t stop thinking about the pain.”

“I want to be by myself all the time.”

“All I want to please is myself.”

“I wonder what others are thinking about me.”

The key to knowing whether or not you are experiencing burnout is if you can’t get out of these feelings and get back to your normal self. You are stuck. Personal growth isn’t happening. Your, “Yeah I’m in pain, but God is still in control.” has morphed into, “Yeah I’m in pain.”

Get.Help.Today.

Have you fallen into burnout? Seek help, period. Put your pride aside and seek out someone who will help you regain the fire you’ve lost. There is no shame in asking for help. In fact, asking for help is a little known aspect of personal growth.

 

 

Adapt Or Die

Sonia Simone wrote a piece on Copyblogger entitled, “How to Master the One Trait That Makes You Unstoppable“. It’s written to bloggers about online marketing, but I want to share the first part of that piece with you. Simone points out something I believe is vital to thriving against burnout in ministry leadership. Here’s an excerpt:
Black Swans in Lake Monger

Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote about the black swan — the impossible-to-predict event that changes everything. The terrorist attack, the earthquake, the worldwide economic meltdown. But in the world we live in now, it’s the white swan — the ordinary, predictable event — that’s becoming rare.

Black swans show up every day. Storms and disasters … and positive black swans, too, like world-changing technology. Unpredictability is the new predictability, and the only thing we can be sure of is that the world will look almost unrecognizably different — even just a few years from today.

You can let that scare you into inaction. That’s a recipe for getting crushed by chaos and change. But there’s another option. You can let yourself get excited about the possibilities. Think about some of the things we’ve seen evolve — radically — in just the past few years.

    • Have you changed how you share photos with your mom?
    • How you watch TV or movies?
    • How you decide where to go for dinner, how you find your way there, how you ask friends to join you?

Here’s the thing — you don’t thrive in times of intense evolution by being the strongest, the meanest, or even the smartest. You survive (and thrive) by being the most adaptable.

Do a self-assessment right now. How adaptable have you been to change over the past few weeks and months?

6 Killer Personal Attributes

You want to make a mockery of burnout. You want to be remembered as someone who serve God well. You want to hear God say to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Well here is a diet of 6 attributes that will help you get there. In fact, I would bet you WON’T get there without them.

THOUGHTFULNESS

ABUNDANCE THINKING

GRATEFULNESS FOR LIFE

REALISTIC OUTLOOK

ACUTE SENSE OF TIME AND ETERNITY

WILLINGNESS TO WORK HARD

You know me. I never claim to have a corner on the market when it comes to perfect blog posts. I bet there are more than 6. These are the ones I’ve come up with.

What killer attribute would you add?

The Secrets To A Good Takeaway

Conférence Webcamp QuébecChris Brogan wrote a post on speaking titled, “Memorable Speakers Blend Stories, A Connection to the Audience, and Takeaways.” Good post if part of your ministry leadership includes public speaking.

His note about Takeaways got me thinking about how to serve strong in ministry leadership. Here’s a quote from the post:

“A great speaker not only inspires, educates, and motivates, but she or he gives some ‘serving suggestions’ so that the audience can take these ingredients and make something useful to themselves.”

You will most likely attend more than one conference in the next 12 months. So, as an audience participant, how do you make the most of The Takeaway? How do you know which conference to attend in the first place? Which breakout session to sign up for? How do you know when you’ve just heard a nugget of truth that will propel you forward as you unpack it in your life context?

Have A Life Plan

Knowing which conference to attend, which breakout session to sign up for, which nugget of truth will make the most impact on you… it’s a crap shoot unless you already know ahead of time where your life is generally headed. I suggest Michael Hyatt’s Life Plan eBook for starters. It will help you develop a process that will lead you into meaningful personal growth and help you answer the lifelong question, “How do I want to be remembered?”  If you’d like life coaching to help you make the most of the eBook, CONTACT ME.

Have A Focus

When you’re in a conference, sitting under the teaching of a well-known thought leader, it’s easy to get enamored by their style, their grace, their charm. It’s easy to get mezmorized by the stage, lighting, pre-worship band. Don’t give in to all that. Remain focused on why you’re there. How will the content push you forward in your life plan? (Note: I’m not talking about being stoic while everyone around you is having a good time. Have a great time, just don’t lose focus. When the speaker moves on to their next gig and the lights are turned off and sounds silenced, you will be back in your office and it will be just you and God.)

Have A Community

No amount of meaningful, lasting personal growth ever happens when we journey alone. You need a mentor, someone who is speaking into your life who’s been where you’re going. You need someone to mentor, someone who is headed to where you are right now. And you need fellow journeyers, someone(s) who are right where you are who can help hold you accountable to The Takeaways you’ve committed to.

Takeaways. And they are not only at conferences. They are all around us. With a Life Plan, Focus, and Community, you will be a great “takeawayer”.

What’s the next conference you plan on attending?

Coaching Competencies And Ethics (part 2 of 2)

As a life coach, I get questioned from time to time about what life coaching is really like. So, as a member of the International Coaches Federation, I’d like to share with you the Competencies and Code of Ethics I strive to achieve during each coaching season. Click here to read the Competencies.

Coaching Code of Ethics

As a professional coach, I acknowledge and agree to honor my ethical obligations to my coaching clients and colleagues and to the public at large.  I pledge to comply with ICF Standards of Ethical Conduct, to great people with dignity as independent and equal human beings, and to model these standards with those whom I coach.  If I breach this Pledge of Ethics or any ICF Standards of Ethical Conduct, I agree that the ICF in its sole discretion may hold me accountable for so doing.  I further agree that my accountability to the ICF for any breach may include loss of my ICF membership or my ICF credentialing.

I will conduct myself in a manner that reflects well on coaching as a profession and I will refrain from doing anything that harms the public’s understanding or acceptance of coaching as a profession.

I will accurately identify my level of coaching competence; and I will not overstate my qualifications, expertise or experience as a coach.

I will ensure that my coaching client understands the nature of coaching and the terms of the coaching agreement between us.

I will not intentionally mislead or make false claims about what my clients will receive from the coaching process or from me as their coach.

I will respect the confidentiality of my client’s information, except as otherwise authorized by my client, or as required by law.

I will obtain informed permission from each of my clients before releasing their names as clients or references or any other client identifying information.

I will be alert to noticing when my client is no longer benefiting from our coaching relationship and would be better served by another coach or by another resource and, at the time, I will encourage my client to make that change.

I will seek to avoid conflicts between my interests and the interests of my clients.

Whenever any actual conflict of interest or the potential for a conflict of interest arises, I will openly disclose it and fully discuss with my client how to deal with it in whatever way best serves my client.

I will disclose to my client all anticipated compensation from third parties that I may receive for referral or advice concerning that client.

I will honor agreements I make in my coaching relationships, and construct clear agreements that may include confidentiality, progress reports, and other particulars.  I will obtain the express consent of the person being coached before releasing information to another person compensating me.

I will not give my clients or any prospective clients information or advice I know to be misleading or beyond my competence.

I will respect and honor the efforts and contributions of others.

I will respect the creative and written work of others in developing my own materials.

I will use ICF member contact information (email addresses, telephone numbers, etc.) only in the manner and to the extent authorized by the ICF.

You may be ready for a coaching season, either with me or another coach. If you’re serious about going deeper and further in your ministry leadership, coaching may be for you. If you’re tired of the same old thing and deeply desire full engagement, maximum performance, and sustained health, coaching may be for you.

Have a free coaching session on me, just to see what it’s actually like.

Click to learn more about Serving Strong coaching

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Coaching Competencies And Ethics (part 1 of 2)

As a life coach, I get questioned from time to time about what life coaching is really like. So, as a member of the International Coaches Federation, I’d like to share with you the Competencies and Code of Ethics I strive to achieve during each coaching season. Click here for the Code of Ethics.

Coaching Competencies

1) Setting the Foundation

Meeting ethical guidelines and professional standards (I understand coaching ethics and standards and ability to apply them appropriately in all coaching situations)

Establishing the coaching agreement (my ability to understand what is required in the specific coaching interaction and to come to agreement with the available resources)

2) Co-Creating the Relationship

Establishing trust and intimacy with the client (my ability to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust)

Coaching presence (my ability to be fully conscious and create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible and confident)

3) Communicating Effectively

Active listening (my ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression)

Powerful questioning (my ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the coaching relationship and the client)

Direct communication (my ability to communicate effectively during coaching sessions, and to use language that has the greatest positive impact on the client)

4) Facilitating Learning and Results

Creating awareness (my ability to integrate and accurately evaluate multiple sources of information, and to make interpretations that help the client to gain awareness and thereby achieve agreed-upon results)

Designing actions (my ability to create with the client opportunities for ongoing learning, during coaching and in work/life situations, and for taking new actions that will most effectively lead to agreed-upon coaching results)

Planning and goal setting (my ability to develop and maintain an effective coaching plan with the client)

Managing progress and accountability (my ability to hold attention on what is important for the client, and to leave responsibility with the client to take action)

You may be ready for a coaching season, either with me or another coach. If you’re serious about going deeper and further in your ministry leadership, coaching may be for you. If you’re tired of the same old thing and deeply desire full engagement, maximum performance, and sustained health, coaching may be for you.

Have a free coaching session on me, just to see what it’s actually like.

Click to learn more about Serving Strong coaching

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