Photo: the_girl

With the aid of my Accountability Network (you do have an Accountability Network, don’t you?), I have been able to institute a few thresholds in my life. Like anybody else, I am a work in process. Here is what I’m working on right now:

I threshold…

…at the cell tower. Check out this post.

…at the door to the bedroom. During the week, I no longer bring in my laptop, iPod Touch, or smart phone into the bedroom as I prepare for sleep. They are off limits. This way, my eyes are no longer peering into a lighted screen just before I start dreaming. I leave electronics behind and embrace needed sleep/rest.

…at the door to the powder room. Each morning, God invites me into the little half bath just off the dining room. This is His time. All I do in the darkness is kneel face-down and listen. No requests. No intercession. No asking. Just listening for that “still small voice.” I leave behind all the activity and embrace God just for who God is. I’m not the only one doing this, by the way. Read here.

…at each conversation with my wife. This one I have to work on a bit harder, but it’s worth it. I’ve known my wife since February of 1980. We’ve been together a long time. It’s very easy for me to take her for granted. So, whenever I am talking to her I try to let everything else go and enter into her eyes. I give her full attention. I leave behind all that consumes me and embrace the wonder of a lady who, for whatever reason, sees value in me.

…at the beginning of worship at my local church. Because I try to make a habit of pouring my life into the lives of others all week, I come to our gatherings in need of corporate worship. Even though there are people to see and talk with at church, when worship begins, I set it all aside and seek to praise the God who, for whatever reason, sees value in me.

I certainly don’t have all the answers. And I struggle at times to keep my thresholds fresh. But those are the 5 key ones for me right now.

Your turn: What are the thresholds that keep you strong in ministry leadership?

…

I live in the midst of farmers. We see a lot of tractors. We smell a lot of… well, you know, “nutrients”. There are a ton of serving strong lessons wrapped up in farming. But 2 in particular come to mind.

The Tractor

Vince Alongi

First Lesson: If you’re going to be successful at farming you will need to ride the tractor. It’s the only way you are going to be able to work the fields with efficiency of time and energy. Gone are the days of hand-sowing seed. The same is true of ministry leadership. To make an impact, you are going to have to “ride the tractor”. Other words, use your head, your hands, your feet, your mind, your energy. Do the work God has called you to. Roll your sleeves up. Get your hands dirty.

puuikibeach

Second Lesson: If you’re going to be successful at farming you will need to maintain the tractor. As they way, “Tractor no worky? Harvest no plenty.” It seems counter-intuitive to pause and stop the tractor now and then to change the oil or tighten the lug nuts – especially when the tractor seems to be running fine. Preventative maintenance doesn’t always occur to us. It’s when the tractor breaks down and won’t run that we are forced to give it the attention it needs. Same is true in ministry leadership. It seems like a waste to take a day off when there is so much work to be done. But if we’re not engaging in preventative maintenance, we will be forced to give our “tractor” the attention it needs (via pneumonia, nervous breakdowns, depression, extreme fatigue… you name it). 

But how?

Okay. So I need to be working “IN” the tractor and “ON” the tractor. But what does that look like? Well, I’d rather ask you what you think. What does it look like when you are fully engaged in ministry leadership? What does it look like when you are fully disengaged from the ministry and taking care of yourself?

This post is for the ministry leader who is married and has small children (although the 4 squeezes could probably be applied to most situations). When your marriage and family is pleasing to God, you are effective for God. Your family life is a collection of interactions, moments if you will. Each moment offers you a golden opportunity to deepen the ties with each person. But they are fleeting. They are gone while you blink your eyes. So it’s up to you to milk these moments.

Here, then, are 4 easy squeezes to milk the most out of the moments with those loved one who interact with you at home:

FIRST, SQUEEZE out the past. Preoccupation with past hurts, past church attendance reports, or whatever you are struggling with (or celebrating) will get in the way of your moments. Squeeze it out. If the particular issue is important it will be there when you return to it.

SECOND, SQUEEZE out the future. Preoccupation with future worries, or that big Sunday coming up, or whatever you are looking forward to (or dreading) will get in the way of your moments as well. Squeeze it out. You’ll be addressing your future soon enough.

THIRD, SQUEEZE out the activity. Get the most from what you are doing at the moment with your loved one. For example, if you’re on the living room floor with your 5 year old playing with legos, don’t just build a house. Build a castle that keeps out the evil ogres that are about to attack with a fury from the kitchen!! AHHHH!!! (get the idea?)

FOURTH, SQUEEZE out the person. Look into your spouse’s eyes. Look deep. What do you see? A soul. A soul mate. Run your fingers slowly through your child’s hair. What does it feel like between your fingers? Give all your attention to them. See the world through their eyes, without any of your own prejudice or preconceived notions.

You. 100% present, milking the moment. It’s what your family wants from you. Needs from you. Try it the next time you walk through the door… (let me know how it goes)

How do you milk the moments at home?

Flying an airplane is really a lot safer than most people think. It’s also more dangerous than it could be.

When visibility is limited, pilots who’ve made mistakes usually say they got into trouble when they “broke their scan”. The scan is the routine way pilots learn to watch the round gauges in front of them and keep their bearings: They look at the artificial horizon, then at the airspeed, then back to the artificial horizon, then at the altitude, then back to the artificial horizon, then at the heading – and back to the beginning.

That constant reference back to the artificial horizon is necessary because it’s the only way to know which way is up when the natural horizon is not visible. If some distraction in the cockpit (maybe as minor as having to fiddle with radio knobs) makes you break the scan, you can easily become very disoriented (burnout).

Breaking the scan in ministry can also cause a ministry leader to become very disoriented. We scan our physical well-being, our emotional health, our marital strength, our parental relationships, our vocational learning, etc. Keeping a view of all of these “instruments” helps to ensure none of them suffer from neglect.

Most importantly, the pilot always returns to his artificial horizon. What is your “artificial horizon”? For me, it’s my relationship with Christ. If that suffers, don’t fly with me. You can be sure I’m disoriented.

So, how’s your scan these days?

Note: This thought comes from reading “The Tests of a Leader” from the Harvard Business Review.

Ministry. It’s captivating, isn’t it? To be involved in what God is doing for eternity is one of most rewarding activities. God is moving and shaking things up. You’re in the middle of it all.

Caution: Are those closest to you getting your left overs? Are you so engrossed in what you’re doing in your ministry vocation that your family and friends are feeling left out?

Don’t be like Stanley…

Check out this related post: Landmark Transition

 

This is a repost from May of this year. What better way to prepare for the coming holiday season than to avoid burnout? 

Staying strong is overrated. All this talk about avoiding the wall? Hooey. You were born to burnout. You were meant for serving weak. Want a quick way to burnout in ministry leadership? Here are 5 easy steps:

1. Seek Unforgiveness. Someone hurt you lately? Cool. Here’s what you do: Hold a grudge. That’s right. Don’t give in to the temptation to be the weaker one. Keep steady. Better yet, give them the silent treatment. Yeah! It will teach them a lesson and you’ll be well on your way to burning out.
2. Pursue Passionlessness. Ask yourself this question: “What ministry fuels my passion?” Got your answer? Good. Now do something (anything) that is the opposite of your answer. Do the thing that is a total drag for you. Give it your all. Seek the boredom. Revel in the difficulty. It will annoy those around you and you’ll be well on your way to burning out.
3. Engage In Prayerlessness. Got prayer concerns? Want to touch the heart of God? Want to seek and sense His will for your life? Forget it. You’re looking to burnout, right? Good. Then cut ALL prayer from your routine. Don’t pray in the morning. Don’t pray when you’re stressed or sad. And don’t pray when things are going well. Think of the time you’ll save.  It will grieve the Holy Spirit and you’ll be well on your way to burning out.
4. Be An Impostor. Are you introverted by nature? Be extroverted. Are you methodical? Be spontaneous. Are you a people person? Then be a recluse. You have to understand that being yourself is simply going to keep you from burning out. So don’t be yourself. Better yet, try to be just like someone else. It will irritate your loved ones and you’ll be well on your way to burning out.
5. Over-identify. In your work with others, you will feel their pain. This is good. Dwell on it. Identify it so deeply that you begin to feel responsible for it. This will give you ownership of their pain, as though you were the cause. You will sink in the quicksand of their misery. You won’t be able to help them because you’ll be so depressed yourself. This will help others become co-dependent and you’ll be well on your way to burning out.

So you see, if you are interested in burning out, it’s quite simple really. Just follow these 5 easy steps and we’ll see you in rehab! 

photo credit 

Question: Can you think of more than 5 steps to add to the list?